Saturday, December 25, 2004

bipolar meter: 7.2222

This has been an up-and-down Christmas but Jesse finally made it here and Christmas morning was very nice. I got a bike from Jesse! This is the first bike that I've ever owned (when I was growing up, I always got hand-me-downs). I am very excited to try it out.

But now it is almost time to leave for Baja. Talk to you in the new year.

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 5

Jesse is stuck in Ohio in a giant snowstorm. He is now supposed to be home at 8pm tomorrow night. I hope he makes it. This won't really be the Christmas Eve I had expected. I am very sad. My first Christmas without my family and I am all alone on the west coast. At least the kitty is here.

bipolar meter: 6.4

Yay! Tomorrow is my last day of work until January 3.

bipolar meter: 6.890

bipolar meter: 6

bipolar meter: 6.2223

Weekends go so by so quickly when you have a job. But I managed to do a RIDICULOUS number of errands this weekend. It was quite satisfying. Now I am attempting to make Christmas stockings. The cat has already tried to help by walking across the patterns a dozen times. He is driving me a little bonkers.

bipolar meter: 6.445

bipolar meter: 7.099

bipolar meter: 7.5116

Poor whale got beached on my Cape beach (obviously, I did not take this picture since I'm in California).

bipolar meter: 7.68

The kitty is now walking into things. Last night he walked into one of our bar stools. Poor little moo.

bipolar meter: 6.55

bipolar meter: 6.07

bipolar meter: 7.4

bipolar meter: 6

Jesse has these super-cool 3D Hanukkah glasses that make lights look like dreidels or stars of David. You are supposed to use them when the menorah is lit but they are even better with a Christmas tree.

bipolar meter: 6.899

Maybe my cat should get an MBA so he can be just like Jesse.

bipolar meter: 5.6733

Now my cankersores have been joined by a sore throat. Five cankersores plus a sore throat. And it is raining a lot. I feel whiny tonight.

True confession: I am rapidly losing interest in my pita. This seems to be happening to a lot of people lately. I'm trying to fight it (the cat pictures are the only thing that keeps me updating) but we shall see what happens. Also, having a job sucks, even when you love what you do. That is all.

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 7

Today was hangover + insane mushroom festival + Christmas tree buying.

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 6

No one should ever have cankersores on the bottom of their tongue and on the back of their throat.

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 7

Big congratulations to the lovely, charming Holly and Nate! After ten years of togetherness (more or less), they have decided to tie the knot. Yay! I love weddings.

bipolar meter: 6.199768

The kitty never really enjoys being brushed.

bipolar meter: 7.8876

Today, I went hiking with Jesse (who took excellent care of the furry one while I was away) and he faced off with a scary cow. Nobody got hurt, thank god. It was strange to be hiking right after Thanksgiving. It should be cold out.

bipolar meter: 7.00001

Yay turkey. Yay babies. Yay pie.

bipolar meter: 8

Today I played homebody and made chocolate chip cookies, roasted a pumpkin (to freeze for future pumpkin recipes), and tore out dozens of nasturtiums that were taking over my front garden. I love being at home. Tomorrow it is week 2 of work and then I am heading home (again!) for Thanksgiving and family. Yay babies.

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 6

The cat is the only member of our household reading the free subscription to the Wall Street Journal.

bipolar meter: 7.711

Tired. Very tired. But field trip #1 was fun, and tomorrow, unexpectedly, I get to go on another one. Plus one on Thursday. Maybe I will just never go to the office.

The cat came out the front door to welcome me home. (Seriously, I got out of the car and he walked out the door. He never comes out the front door.) I think he also might have been thinking of making a run for freedom, but after he stumbled down the first step, I swooped in and carried him inside. He was MAD. Maybe I should get him a seeing-eye monkey or something.

bipolar meter: 8.7663

Tonight I celebrated my new job with friends at the very yummy Slanted Door. It's all about the shaking beef!

bipolar meter: 6.9

Tomorrow freedom ends. But I think I will really love my new job. Not only is it my dream job, but my title--architectural historian--is ridiculously cool. So how bad can it be to wake up at 7am every morning? (Oh god.)

I am very happy I made the trip back east last week. I got to see many friends, a smattering of family, and the Cape. I hadn't realized how much I missed the Cape until I got to the point on the beach path where you can see the ocean and I ran as fast as I could to get to the water. Yay beach. It was snowing a little bit on the Cape so I got a taste of winter without having to live through it this year. I would write more about my adventures but I am tired and have to become a full-time working person tomorrow (for the first time in 3+ years) so I will update more later.

Waving hello to my beloved ocean in Wellfleet. The Pacific just isn't the same.

Nobody here but the seagulls.

bipolar meter: 8

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 8.3664

But...tomorrow I am heading back east to make the rounds before starting my new job. First stop is Boston, then Cape Cod, Connecticut, and New York City. It should be great!

bipolar meter: 7

bipolar meter: 6

The cat gets cozy with the computer power cord.

bipolar meter: 6.95236

bipolar meter: 4

The kitty waits in vain for news that the election results were a mistake.

But, in much better and more exciting news, Catherine has launched her online store and it looks super-cool. Go buy an ipod cozy!

bipolar meter: nervous

The past week has been phenomenal: the Sox won the World Series and I got a fabulous shiny new job. Can we make it three with a Kerry win?

Today I voted for the first time as a California voter. Wow. California is crazy. They have all these propositions on the ballot that you have to vote on. (In Berkeley, I got to vote against legalizing prostitution. Berkeley is odd.) This results in a ballot with sixty or so things to vote on. It is quite overwhelming.

bipolar meter: 9.6457

bipolar meter: 8 (and hungover)

bipolar meter: 9.02

The kitty's first trip outside in almost 2 1/2 years (without being in a carrier). Despite being almost completely blind, he seemed okay wandering around the patio while we sat outside.

bipolar meter: 9

I am very, very homesick.

bipolar meter: 10

9:11pm

It can't be true. They can't have won the World Series. How can that be? After 30 years, how can I accept this? What happens now? I don't know how to act or what to do. I want to scream and cry and lie down and take a nap. I want more than anything to be in Boston but it is not to be. The kitty and I made it! We were watching in '86 and we watched together tonight! Wooo hooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:41pm

I know this is asking for bad luck, but these Cardinals are so lame (all they do is bunt and fly out). I heard all this nonsense about how great they were but I don't see it. The World Series has been kind of boring after the extreme stress and insanity of the ALCS. I don't know what to do without that sense of complete agony, the lying-on-the-floor-with-my-face-in-my-hands (see entry for October 17, 2003). But it's probably good since I am too congested to drink beer or really any alcohol. Oh god, the horrible lead singer from Creed is singing God Bless America. Time to go check out the lunar eclipse.

bipolar meter: 9

Three down! Three down! How can I be so far away? It is really, really tempting to get on the plane tomorrow morning and just show up in Boston to join the revelry. Really tempting. Like I might do it. Even with this cold and all.

Vertigo, Then and Now. See how San Francisco looks today as compared to the movie.

bipolar meter: 6.91

bipolar meter: 8.990

This weekend was baseball (two down) and a visit to Mount Diablo for some much-needed hiking after spending way too much time watching TV during the past week. Our hike was lovely but very steep (see that tiny building on top of the mountain in the opposite picture? We hiked down from that building, up another mountain peak, and back down and up).

When driving up to the peak, I saw a tarantula running across the road and he was HUGE. But we had learned from the park's newsletter that tarantulas do not kill humans and their sting is about equivalent to a bee sting so I wasn't scared (plus, I was in the car). I had no idea that they lived in California. I really do not like spiders so I'm glad there were no tarantulas dropping on my head from the trees or anything. Not that they do that, but you never know. I mean, one of the scariest moments of my life was when I was hiking in Alaska and I saw a porcupine sitting in a tree branch hanging right over the trail. I ran as fast as I could under the tree because the porcupine could have decided to jump on my head and stick all its quills into my face. So it was good that no tarantulas did that today.

bipolar meter: 8.6572

bipolar meter: 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am stunned. Absolutely stunned. I have been waiting since I was 12 for this to happen. (Of course it did have to happen the one year I wasn't living back east--I am so sad not to be in Boston!) It's really amazing. Incredible. Thrilling. I had given up on them this year and here they are. My boys.

bipolar meter: absolutely hysterical

bipolar meter: 8.111

I planned to do good things today like go to the gym but instead I have been on the couch all afternoon watching baseball. These games are ENDLESS. As my friend Jamie pointed out, I probably burned enough calories from stress anyway. But the cat is very unhappy because I keep screaming and freaking him out. I really need to stop following this sport.

bipolar meter: 8.2332

Giving the kitty some chicken.

It rained today. I know that isn't a big deal to most people, but in Berkeley, the news calls it a "big storm." Seriously, it drizzled on-and-off. There was no big storm. It was amazing to watch the news and see the rain lead the broadcast--the weather guy was like, we got 69/100 of an inch, ooooo, scary. But this is what happens when you live in a place where it doesn't rain for months at a time. Rainy season, I'm ready for you.

bipolar meter: 7.22

Southern religious nuts want to ban celebrating Halloween on the 31st this year because "It's a day for the good Lord, not for the devil". I know when I used to go trick-or-treating there was lots of devil-worshipping going on.

Post-party napping.

bipolar meter: 8.0002

The mini-depression fit is over. Being in California during the playoffs is great because I can pretend the whole thing isn't happening. Plus the weather here is so phenomenal that I no longer want a job. I really like being a housewife.

bipolar meter: 7

Happy Belated 30th Birthday to George! (I didn't forget his birthday, I just forgot to put it on the pita.) Welcome to the club.

bipolar meter: 5.683

bipolar meter: 5

Boo baseball. It is heartbreak hotel over and over.

bipolar meter: 8

bipolar meter: 6.9375

Last weekend I hosted my first out-of-town guest: my brother Chris. There was much fun and frivolity and I got to do all sorts of new San Francisco things.

On Friday we headed to Angel Island, a beautiful place with 360-degree views of San Francisco Bay. The island is a little spooky since it is dotted with dozens of abandoned buildings but I loved it--it's like an enchanted forest. After our ferry ride home, we stopped to look at the sea lions at Fisherman's Wharf. They are completely ridiculous creatures but very fun to watch. Then Jesse and I visited the Ferry Building for the first time and did the free-food-sample rounds (note to the chocolate store: start offering samples like everyone else).

The next day, we met up in San Francisco to go to the bluegrass festival at Golden Gate Park. The music was good but the weather in the city was cold and grey so we soon decamped for Mexican food and many, many margaritas at Tommy's, which I think is one of my new favorite places. I hadn't been drunk on margaritas in so long and I forgot how fun it can be (so much fun that Jesse and I missed our stop on the BART on the way home--we were "sleeping). It is a beautiful thing to start drinking early, because you can go to bed at a reasonable hour and not be destroyed the next day.

On Sunday, Chris and I decided we hadn't had enough to drink the night before so we went to a tour of the Pyramid Brewery, where the samples were free and flowing (see picture of Chris with many empty glasses). That, of course, necessitated a trip to In 'n Out Burger--one of the greatest things about California. After a brief reunion with the cat, Chris had to fly back to NYC, but I already can't wait for his next visit. Christmas in Hawaii, perhaps?

bipolar meter: 8.1111

bipolar meter: 8

My first quake and I don't even feel it! But I guess that is good.

bipolar meter: 7.9962345

Ooooh, the job market is suddenly heating up. I am a woman in DEMAND. Or so I hope.

Yesterday on the way home from the gym, a guy said "you are preeeeety, so pretty. You know what? You should be a stewardess--you have that look." And I was like, okaaaaayy. I guess that's something to aspire to. I will have to check out the flight attendants on my flight to NYC tonight.

bipolar meter: 6.554

Heading back to NYC again this weekend (didn't I just leave there?). Not really looking forward to the trip since I will spend most of my time at wedding festivities where I will know almost no one. Also not the best time for me to be spending money on airfare. Plus, I will be close to home but won't get a chance to see my family. Boo hoo. Hopefully a few hours with friends will make the trip worthwhile.

bipolar meter: 7.321

Incredibly detailed map of the Simpsons' home--Springfield. This is awesome. (If the big map is too slow to load, try this.)

bipolar meter: 8.611111

I'm finally starting to feel like a California girl. Today we traveled to the Marin Headlands to hike and happened upon a chili cook-off in Sausalito. Just driving through Sausalito made me want to live on a houseboat all over again. And yummmmm, chili. The Bay area is so beautiful that I can hardly stand it! Who needs a job?

bipolar meter: 8.23

How is this man President? Seriously, how do people not laugh or cry in despair when they see him speak in public? Are they that stupid themselves? Good God. I generally hate politics and avoid affiliation with any party, but this election has me MAD.

In happier news, yay Sox. We don't need no forfeit to kick ass.

Yes, I have too much time on my hands. I really need to get a job.

bipolar meter: 7.999808

At the airport, I was told that the cat would not need to come out of the carrier, then that he would have to, then that I could do it in the security office so he wouldn't freak out, and finally that I couldn't go in the office and would have to go in the regular security line. So I shored myself up, took the growling and hissing cat out of his carrier (he is actually yawning in the picture opposite but you can imagine how evil he can be), walked him through the metal detector, and then WAITED with him in my arms while someone else's bag was double-checked. I was like, hello? This cat is about to kill someone. Can you put his carrier through? Once I got the carrier, Jesse was stuck on the other side of security so I had to wrangle the cat into the carrier, push his head down, and zip the bag all while not letting him loose. It was quite a scene. I think the other passengers were mystified. Thank god they didn't try to "pat him down" as I was originally told.

The kitty was very good on the plane (better than me--I was bored silly and very restless) and only cried a few times late into the flight. The poor thing had to be in the carrier for over ten hours and I felt so bad for him. Then we took the BART home (don't ask). It was quite an experience for a cat that grew up in the suburbs--cab, plane, bus, train--he has done almost nothing but sleep since he got here. I can't really believe we are both here in California and I am so happy to be reunited with him. Yes, I am a loser who loves her cat.

My whirlwind trip home was a lot of fun. I got to spend time with good friends, play with my sister's babies, be fed by my mom, lie on the beach, and dance at a beautiful wedding. I only wish I had had more time to see everybody but there is always the next trip (another wedding in less than three weeks). For now I am going to revel in my California lifestyle.

bipolar meter: 7.777

As I have nothing new to share since I'm unemployed and spend most of my day staring at my laptop willing it to post a magical new job, I will share some rants with you:

1) Berkeley has an out-of-control homeless problem. I'm not saying that NYC or Boston's treatment of the homeless is better--probably not--but I can't see that letting an entire population of mentally-ill people wander the streets, live in the parks, and lie on the sidewalks is a good solution either.

2) All DMVs suck. California's sucks especially because they charge you a million dollars to register your car. (They base the registration fee on the value of the car, rather than making it a flat fee. My bleeding-heart boyfriend tried to explain to me why this is a good thing for society but he wasn't the one paying for the registration.)

3) It is very expensive to buy health insurance for yourself. Let's all just cross our fingers that I don't get really sick or pregnant, because I'm screwed in that case. If I get hit by a car, everything's kosher.

4) Those Central Park RNC protesters are RIDICULOUS. Whenever I hear them rant about the Great Lawn I want to go punch a tomato. There is NO REASON they need to protest at that particular place and for them to be so adamant about it just proves that they care less about protesting Bush and more about making some foolish point about the park. There are plenty of places where they could protest without damaging a landscape that cost millions to restore. Stop being such babies and go somewhere else. Or do something cool like put a banner on the Plaza.

Okay, enough ranting. I'm off to shop in San Fran armed with suggestions from the lovely Leanne. It is good to know the cool kids when you move to a new town.

Our garden is out of control.

bipolar meter: 8.024

Two views of the bangs. I'm still not sure about this whole experiment...

bipolar meter: 8.446

I did something possibly foolish yesterday and got a new haircut that involves bangs. I have never had bangs before and I'm not sure if I like them. Perhaps I will post a picture later to share. I can't believe how weird I look in the mirror.

bipolar meter: 7.089

We bought and planted our lemon tree last weekend and I am very excited for the lemons! They look like little limes right now. I only hope the lemons won't be as out of control as the tomato plants. (I wish you could just get good tomatoes all year round instead of making yourself sick on them for one month of the year.) I also planted some herbs and some pansies (which are fall flowers out here) and bought two lounge chairs so I am definitely looking forward to lying out in the sun at some point this week when I am not looking for a job. It's time to pretend I am an L.A. movie star. Now if only I could make a pool out of something...

bipolar meter: 8

I am very happy right now because the trash man came today and took away all of the cardboard boxes that were cluttering up the house. I thought I would share some pictures of the house to celebrate.

Although I haven't ventured very far from my house, I have already noticed some unique things about Berkeleyans (Berkeleyites?):

1) They absolutely do not jaywalk. Even on a Sunday afternoon on a residential road where there are no cars visible for miles. This is a quirk I do not plan to adopt.

2) They LOVE stop signs. Love them. The city has stop signs at almost every single very short block. Although it is a good thing for cyclists and children chasing balls in the street, it makes driving a standard car somewhat annoying. Especially when that car has been sounding a little sick in low gear ever since you drove across the country.

3) Some of them have truly never left the '60s. I heard the two landscapers who were working on the backyard talking and it was like a Cheech and Chong parody. I tried asking one of them about planting a lemon tree and he just stared at me and said "leeeeemon tree.....hmmm...lemonnnnns..." and I was like, okaaaay, nevermind. But it makes for good entertainment.

So after one week I've decided that I like living in California (aside from terribly missing my friends and family). The fruits and vegetables are all so nice and so cheap and once I get my lemon tree in the backyard one of my life-long dreams will have come true. And that's something you can't say very often.

My new home.

The front yard.

The vegetable garden in the backyard. There are so many tomatoes right now we can't eat enough to keep up.

bipolar meter: 6.234

While I wait for the floors in the kitchen to dry (yes, my life is so exciting right now that I mop floors for fun), I thought I would share this link with you. What I fear most about flying with my cat (aside from him going into cardiac arrest and dying on the plane): the kitty getting loose and attacking the pilot.

bipolar meter: 8.992

I am now officially a California girl. The new house is shaping up nicely (after a bout fighting pantry moths and a clogged bathtub) and I even survived a trip to IKEA last night without having a nervous breakdown. It's amazing how cheap the furniture is there--we got new bar stools for $14 a piece and a new dining room table for $79.

The rest of the road trip was great. We drove across Nevada on the Loneliest Road in America and I think it was my favorite part--pretty scenery, no traffic, and lots of odd roadside architecture. However, I was happy to arrive in California and eat non-diner food for the first time in weeks. No wonder the center of the country is so fat.

The trusty little car.

The largest ketchup bottle in the world (in Illinois).

The home of Bud.

Jesse "exploring" the odd concrete sculpture garden in Kansas (aka "Garden of Eden").

Kansas hay.

The abandoned town of Cisco, Utah.

Arches National Park in Utah.

Sunset at Arches.

You can see why they call it the Loneliest Road.

The mini-Vegas of Ely, Nevada.

Me very happy with a hot dog and a homemade root beer.

Pony express this way.

bipolar meter: 7.834

For those of you back in the real world, my wonderful friend Jamie is blogging live from the Democratic National Convention. Check it out--he has press creds and is reporting from the inside.

I'm outta here.

bipolar meter: 6.5242

Just a quick update to wish my kitten a Happy Birthday! He is nineteen today, an impressive age for a cat. I'm convinced he can make it to twenty-five. Tomorrow's destination is St.Louis and a reunion with an old high school friend.

bipolar meter: 7

I finally got the chance to upload my Australia and New Zealand pictures for your viewing pleasure. I'm currently in Porkopolis (a.k.a., Cincinnati). The city is much more beautiful than I imagined but it is also insanely hot and humid here. Luckily, there are many fabulous Art Deco buildings to make up for the heat. It is blowing my mind that Kentucky is across the river from Cincinnati and that we drove through West Virginia to get here (Midwest geography is not my strong point). See how much I am learning?

bipolar meter: 6.98

Back in the USA. I still haven't made it to the east coast to visit my cat and pick up some different clothes to wear (after five weeks wearing the same thing, I need a change). Spent the last few days looking for an apartment--a process which totally sucks and is very stressful, especially when one is very jetlagged and cranky--but this morning we signed a lease on the place that was our #1 choice so that's very exciting. It is the first floor of a two-family Victorian house (which I completely eat up) and it has two bedrooms, living room with fireplace, dining room, kitchen (with dishwasher--yay!), washer and dryer (essential with my obsessive love of laundry), parking, and lots of outdoor space including a front garden, a back patio and lawn (small but still grass), and a vegetable garden. I love it. It's truly amazing what you can get for your money when you don't live in NYC.

bipolar meter: 7.6

My 4th was spent helihiking on top of Franz Josef glacier in New Zealand. I definitely missed eating hot dogs and lying on the beach and watching fireworks, but landing on a glacier in a helicopter and hiking through ice formations is a pretty incredible substitute. New Zealand is a ridiculously gorgeous country. If it wasn't so far away, I would buy a summer home there.

Tomorrow we fly to California to start apartment hunting. (It is so cool--we land in San Francisco on the same day at almost the exact time that we take off so we gain an entire day flying this way.) Hopefully it will go smoothly. Hopefully no one will turn us down for having an almost 19-year old cat. But I have faith.

bipolar meter: 8.211

We have crossed the sea over to New Zealand to tour the south island and it is COLD. (Not surprising since it is winter down under the equator, but Australia had lovely spring/summer weather in the places we visited; here it is definitely winter). But we bought a couple of wool hats and found restaurants with big fireplaces and now it is a fun mini winter vacation in the middle of summer. Today we hiked at spectacular Mount Cook and then drove down to Wanaka where we are going to walk through a giant 3D puzzle tomorrow. It is amazing how different New Zealand looks from Australia.

bipolar meter: 9

bipolar meter: 8.99

Well kids, I am on the other side of the world down in Australia. It is so incredibly lovely and fun that I never want to come home. Our first day we climbed on top of the Sydney Harbor Bridge (literally walked along the top of it attached to a static line) which was just amazing. Yesterday we hiked to the top of Ayers Rock--a huge monolith in the center of Australia--and I have now officially climbed my first big mountain/monolith. I have gotten to spend most of every day outside and it is a welcome change from the thesis and packing! My last week on the Cape was soooo nice and I miss it and my kitty very much but right now I am so content and excited to be here that it's all good.

bipolar meter: 7.987

The other fun activity this week was taking a Duck Tour in Boston. I had always wanted to go on one even though they are touristy and dorky, and I decided it was the one thing I had to do before moving out of Boston. It was really fun and we got to drive around the Big Dig sites and see parts of the city from the water you never see normally. I even got to drive the Duck!

Tomorrow I head to the Cape for my annual big bash and then a week of blissful, much-needed vacation. I cannot WAIT.

bipolar meter: 6.99

I've been doing some one-last-time activities in Boston. Yesterday I went to see the lilacs at the Arnold Arboretum and had gnocchi in the North End. I hadn't been down there for ages and I couldn't believe how different it looks with the elevated highway down! It's going to be so amazing when they put the park in.

Stupid rule proposed to forbid photography in the NYC subway.

Speaking of ridiculous ideas, check out the INSANE number of road closings they are planning in Boston for the Democratic National Convention. Basically, there will be no way to drive into or around Boston for a week. It's equivalent to shutting down all of the highways into Manhattan along with the West Side Highway and the FDR, which they certainly aren't doing for the Republican National Convention. They are also shutting down a major subway and commuter rail station, so anyone who works downtown is completely fucked. If that type of security is necessary, they should have the convention out in the middle of a cornfield in Kansas. I read about one guy whose downtown company is shutting down for the week since no one can get to work and none of them are getting paid. The city should not be allowed to screw people like that--most of the residents won't get any benefit from the convention. Stupid planners.

I'm getting my thesis bound into a real book complete with my name on the spine. It will be pretty cool.

This weekend will be my last Red Sox game at Fenway--so sad! But my brother has already set me up with Red Sox tickets at the A's stadium so I will never be far from my boys.

bipolar meter: 9

The graduation was fairly anticlimatic but I'm glad I went. My family showed up 30 minutes late to lunch so I almost missed getting my diploma--I literally ran in and about three minutes later they called my name. And since no one from my program showed up for graduation (nice, real nice) this other prof substituted and announced that my master's project was on Jeffrey's Mill. I was sitting there thinking, Jeffrey's Mill, where in the hell is that and why am I working on it? So typical of my fucked up grad school experience that this mishap would be the final memory. Oh well. I have a big, red, fancy diploma and nothing but fun and sun for the next three months (right after I pack).

bipolar meter: 6.23

Yet another delay from my advisor means my thesis is yet to be completed. I hate it.

bipolar meter: 7.777

Life is good. I turned in my second-to-last thesis draft yesterday after working 24 hours straight with a two hour sleep break. It wasn't pretty. But now I am almost free! Free free free! And since I am kind of a sicko, I celebrated by cleaning my entire apartment. It is so nice in here now.

bipolar meter: 7.0014

bipolar meter: 4.5

You know, overall, things have sucked since I turned 30. There have been some fun times and I'm definitely excited about moving to California, but otherwise it's been a lot of drudgery, bad moods, exhaustion, and negative experiences.

Two people I've known through a close relative died this week--I hardly knew either of them but it is still upsetting to see people go through that. My boss hasn't paid me in three months. Two friends have been laid off or are about to be; another friend's girlfriend, who he thought was the one, moved out. My thesis advisor has been spacey for the last few weeks--not reading my drafts, taking forever to meet with me, causing the finish line to be ever more distant. I am bickering with everyone and being snotty to the two people I am closest to. My apartment hasn't been cleaned in weeks, my birthday presents are still in bags scattered on the floor, and balloons are still taped to the walls from my surprise party one month ago. My cat has been neglected and is home alone, again. I am becoming a zombie who stays up until all hours and sleeps late and I haven't really exercised in months (going to the gym and lying on the mat half-heartedly doing crunches doesn't count).

bipolar meter: 5

I'm sitting in Bryant Park, possibly my favorite park in the city, working on my thesis. It's pretty great. They have wireless access in the park now and it is really fast. I don't know how people deal with looking at the screen outside--it is late afternoon and I am still squinting and couldn't work outside earlier because I couldn't see the screen at all.

Last night I took my mom to see Wicked for her birthday. It is one of my favorite books and they did a pretty good job adapting it except for the ending, which was completely ridiculous. I suppose it has to be that way for Broadway. The music was so-so but the two leads were phenomenal and the sets were great as well.

I am having a nervous breakdown about my thesis. It has to be done by May 10 and there is so so so so so so so so so much left to do. Plus all these other things are pulling me in fifty directions and I just want to scream or cry or run as fast as I can to the beach. But in a few weeks it will all be over and I will be a Master. And I will expect everyone to call me Master from now on. That will be great. And then just a few weeks after that, I will have my friends to the Cape for a fun-filled three-day weekend, maybe the last Cape party for awhile (so sad). Because then I will take off for Southeast Asia for a few weeks and then, then I will be off to Cali. So weird. It doesn't feel real.

bipolar meter: 8.99999

The decision is in---we are moving to CALIFORNIA!!!!! I really thought Wharton was going to be the winner, but Berkeley pulled ahead in the last few days. It all seems completely surreal, I can't believe I am actually going to leave the East Coast and move to San Francisco. I feel like it is the other side of the world. But no winter for two years! NO WINTER! Right now I am contemplating renting a Winnebago and driving across the country with the cat in the back but the logistics are yet to be worked out.

All I can say is this has been a great day. I'm listening to my new Chicago greatest hits album (a your-thesis-is-almost-over present) and thinking of all the fun things I am going to do when I live in California. And working on my thesis of course. Yes, I am working hard. Not looking at Craig's List for apartments or anything. Nothing like that.

bipolar meter: 5

I know. I'm sorry. My life has shrunk to the point where there is nothing left but my thesis, my couch, my fleece pajama pants, my cold (week three), and my cat. Soon I will come out of this hellhole and rejoin normal society. Until then, I have nothing interesting to share unless you would like to hear about why stores starting putting shingles on their fake mansard roofs during the 1970s and 1980s or what president laid the first stone of the Pilgrim Monument.

bipolar meter: 7.777

Okay, I wasn't going to post today but this is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time: Crazy Christians whip Easter Bunny at Easter show (via Cat). It's actually quite, quite disturbing but for some reason I cannot stop laughing when I think about it. Man, those born-agains are twisted. They are opposed to gay marriage but are participating in sadomasochist rituals involving giant plush animals?

bipolar meter: 6.443

Well kids, my thesis isn't going to be done next week. But it's okay, in fact it is a good thing, because now it won't drive me into the nut house. And I will still graduate on time. And maybe my bronchitis will go away.

Saint-Exup�ry is found. I've never gotten over the fact that the author of the Little Prince, which centers around a downed plane, died himself in a plane crash. Spooky.

Amazing photos of Chernoybl today (via Jamie). I remember when the meltdown happened when I was little, but I never really thought about what happened to the towns around the plant afterwards.

Is William Hung a walking parody?

Right Wing Eye for the blue states.

bipolar meter: 7

The week of birthday fun has ended, and not a moment too soon since I have eleven days left until doomsday (i.e., my thesis is due). I have lost all motivation to live in a world where my thesis is waiting for me, always lurking behind every door, silently mocking me with its pages of nonsensical text. Plus, all the celebrating has left me with a nasty cold. And it is under 40 degrees out (hey, whoever is in charge of the weather up there, you do know it is April, right? So get it the fuck together.)

Saturday started out with a surprise visit to the Little Red Lighthouse which is just too adorable to be real. The popularity of the book saved the lighthouse from demolition in the 1940s (yay, preservation) but it is almost never open to the public. Luckily, I have friends in high places. I've wanted to go see it for a long time so it was definitely a fun treat.

After eating very yummy chicken lettuce wraps for dinner--let me just take a moment here to say: 1) I'm glad that I am now eating chicken again (except for chicken breasts, which are still nasty); and 2) thank you whoever is up there for sending me someone who is a great cook--we headed out to this insane Bulgarian bar/dance club, the final birthday surprise. People were dancing with chairs in their mouths and singing Hava Nagilah and going berserk. I really do enjoy East European dance music (and Hava Nagilah).

Three birthday celebrations for three decades. What more could a girl want?

bipolar meter: 9

The day started out with lunch with my mom at DB Bistro. It was very tasty and Martha Stewart walked in during dessert which just made my day (my mom and I both love her).

Then I got my hair chopped off and bought some new clothes (hey, it was my birthday).

That evening, I met Jesse in midtown and he gave me my first present: a fish head. I suppose I must pay for having the April Fool's birthday. Then he surprised me with drinks at the very cool Four Seasons bar. We had dinner at Mamlouk which is possibly the most romantic restaurant I've ever been to. After dinner we went to my favorite bar where I was surprised by my friends with a yummy chocolate cake and great presents. Holly presented me with a birthday tiara (I love tiaras) and a shot glass necklace.

Jesse gave me an incredibly beautiful watch for my birthday which I love. I also got great books, a gift certificate for trapeze lessons (yay!), pink roses (my favorite), and a Bud beer cuff made especially for me by Catherine. Everything was so fun and so wonderful. I was thinking yesterday that my 29th year was definitely the best year of my life so far, but 30 is starting out pretty damn great!

bipolar meter: 8.443

This week has been an emotional bungee jump.

Saturday I was surprised in my own apartment by my New England friends (and one from Philly!) with a birthday celebration. Jesse had taken me out to dinner and everyone snuck in while we were gone. I was definitely surprised and very happy that everyone worked to keep it a secret! I was a little concerned about the cat, since he hates almost everyone but me, but I guess they managed to herd him into my room with only a few injuries. It was such a fun party.

Yesterday I was really depressed. Not sure why, I think it was mainly stress from school, decisions about where I'm moving next, and aging. It sucked.

But today I got to go to the spa ALL DAY. It was heavenly. I feel 10000000 times better and excited for my actual birthday. Yay, birthday! I don't know what is happening so it is very mysterious and fun.

bipolar meter: 6

I apologize for the lack of updates. All I can say is that I've written 51 pages of my thesis (sans images) and I'm only 1/5 through my notes. It is a scary, scary prospect.

Not feeling so happy this week. The weather in Boston continues to suck and the imminence of my birthday is pressing down on me. I am so excited for my spa day next week and my actual birthday. Just a few more days to get through.

bipolar meter: 6.7

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! It's still snowing. It's been snowing since yesterday afternoon. Snow is pretty and all, but it's also mid-March.

I have been working hard all day in my pajamas (these days I do shower, but then return to my pajamas). I was about to start the next phase of my work project when the cat got up in my lap and went to sleep. He makes it kind of difficult for me to do work, but he is so cute that I don't want to disturb him.

bipolar meter: 7.222

A weekend of sleep, food, and the company of friends has restored my positive outlook on life. However, a good rant now and then does have its beneficial qualities.

I just went outside to put out the trash and thought I saw an enormous rat run past my front door (not a common experience). But then it stopped and turned and I saw it was an opossum. I've always like opossums, even though they are rat-like, because when I was in elementary school I had a pen-pal at the local nursing home who wrote a children's book about opossums. Random brushes with nature are fun as long as they don't involve spiders, roaches, or rats.

Speaking of wildlife, I spoke to the vet (who possibly thinks I'm insane) and he said my cat is doing fine and not in any pain. He hasn't quite reached the IV-bag stage yet (the cat that is, not the vet), and is eating again, now that I've given up on the prescription food. (I tried mixing that food with his Fancy Feast but he is too smart for that game.) He was up to his old tricks this weekend, being nasty to everyone but me, so I guess maybe I shouldn't worry about his dotage yet.

bipolar meter: 5

The news is making me ill today. First of all, I still cannot comprehend how people can murder hundreds of innocent people for some political agenda. I suppose I should be used to it by now but I'm not. What justification can they possibly use to sleep at night?

In a similar vein, I am so SICK of these Jesus freaks using their so-called "faith" to disguise their bigotry. I never want to hear another word about Mel Gibson and his revolting movie. Unfortunately, he happens to call himself a Catholic, even though he practices a form not accepted by the church and condemned by many Catholics. He is a fucker.

Today, people protested at the Massachusetts State House both for and against gay marriage. I personally have no problem with it--why do I care if gay people want to be married? It doesn't hurt me in any way and they should have the right to do it. People who think it is immoral should keep their religious beliefs where they belong: in church or in temple or wherever. If they want to ban gays from being married in their places of worship, so be it, but the state is not the place for religious beliefs. And the thing about not procreating? It's good. We already have too many people on this planet and it's only going to get worse.

I was looking at the pictures from the protest and was appalled. This is MASSACHUSETTS, not the Deep South, not Texas, not hicksville, and these people had the most ridiculous signs (some people did travel from the midwest to protest, so they aren't all New Englanders). They bring their kids out, who clearly could not have formed an opinion yet on the matter, to carry signs saying "No Sex is Better Than Gay Sex" and other sick stuff. (Of course, these are the probably the same child abusers who bring their kids to see the Gibson movie.) And the Jesus-hates-you signs are everywhere. I don't think Jesus preached intolerance and hatred of your fellow men and women. The amazing thing (or not so amazing) is that almost all of the photographs of the pro-gay marriage protestors show people smiling and happy and the anti-gay marriage protestors are angry and sullen. And people are so IGNORANT. Someone had a sign saying "marriage existed before civil rights...it can't be redefined." Well, a lot of bad shit existed before civil rights, is this person suggesting that we return to those times and start torturing people again? Not to mention, marriage existed before Christianity! I despise them.

It makes me want to raise my kids with zero religion. Religion can be such a sick, sick thing that people use to justify despicable behavior. Maybe I will become a pagan.

Sorry for the depressing entry. I'll try better next time.

bipolar meter: 8.211

The countdown to the end of my carefree youth continues. Twenty-one days to go. I feel like I should be running around topless with beers in both hands but instead I'm home working, working, working, always, always working.

bipolar meter: 9

Mexico, in a word, was heavenly. So much fun, so much sun, so much to see.

We started off our trip in Merida, a lovely little city in the center of the Yucatan peninsula. Carnival was in full-swing when we arrived, and luckily the parades went right by our hotel. Our hotel was a converted monastery and had amazing views of churches in both directions from the rooftop pool deck (see photograph to left).

After a few days wandering around in the hot sun, taking siestas, and stuffing our faces with street food (mangos, tacos, plantains, french fries, ice cream--miraculously, neither of us got sick), we decided to take a road trip south of the city to visit some rural villages. Each town had a beautiful church, a little town square, and lots of dogs lying in the middle of the road. I was nervous about driving in Mexico, but aside from a minor mishap getting out of the rental car lot, it all went smoothly. At least it did until we got lost (or thought we got lost, it turned out we were on the right road). We ended up in this tiny, tiny village not on our map where goats outnumbered people. Jesse, thank God, speaks some Spanish, so he was able to get directions, but for a few minutes I had visions of us being carjacked and left to die in a Mexican jungle.

Next up was Chichen Itza, the famous Mayan ruins with the big pyramid. Climbing up the pyramid was really amazing, although I did gasp in fear when I got to the top and turned around and saw how high up I was, and how unprotected I was from falling. We also visited the Blue Cenote across from our hotel, which was so, so beautiful and great to swim in.

We left Chichen Itza by two second-class buses (with a stop at another cenote and some yummy quesadilles for me) to Cancun, where we were catching the ferry to Isla Mujeres. The second-class buses stopped wherever and whenever, picking up people who were selling fruit, sodas, and other food, or begging for change, before dropping them off at the next village, maybe to catch a bus going back the other way.

Isla Mujeres was beautiful. The best beach was the North Beach, where you could eat at restaurants with swings for chairs, and eat guacamole and drink beers while watching the sunset. Our hotel, Villa Las Brisas was probably the best place I have ever stayed. Not the fanciest, but it had so many unique touches and was incredibly welcoming and romantic. Our room had a palapa roof and walls with palapa partitions that could be rolled back for amazing views of the Caribbean. The bed hung from the ceiling and was surrounded by mosquito netting. At first, the rocking bed was a little unnerving (you had sea legs when you got up) but then it was just heavenly, with the sounds of the ocean crashing and the wind in the palm trees. Makes me wish I was there right now...

bipolar meter: 9.345

Mexico is so heavenly. Warm, beautiful, and with very friendly people. There are almost no tourists in Merida so people here have not gotten sick of Americans yet. We have been watching the Carnival parades, eating lots of street food (yummy, yummy tacos), and lying by the rooftop pool, with views of old churches in both directions. Tomorrow we are driving the "Convent Route" which takes you around several little villages. Jesse can't drive stick so I will have to drive and I just hope there isn't an accident where I get thrown into a Mexican jail for the next 6 months. The day after that we are going to Chichen Itza (Mayan ruins) and then on to Isla Mujeres and the beach! Right now I am waiting for Jesse to check on his b-school applications and cooling off--it is the perfect temperature for most of the day except right around noon. More updates later!

bipolar meter: 9

Mexico tomorrow!!!!!! Carnival in Merida, Mayan ruins in Chichen Itza, and beach beach beach on Isla Mujeres. Have a good week, I will have lots of pictures when I return!

bipolar meter: 8.2111

The week before a vacation is so boring. All I want to do is get on that plane to Mexico, but instead I'm stuck here working on the interminable thesis. And my eye has some sort of rock in it. And it's cold. And I have enormous guilt over leaving my little kitty with a stranger for ten days. (Especially because the vet told me recently that the cat has kidney disease and a heart murmur. Poor aged kitty.) Wah.

America's Next Top Model is even better the second time around. It may be the best show on television right now.

That's all the random information I have to share today.

bipolar meter: 9.2

Something very frightening is happening to me. I actually liked Valentine's Day this year. Even more than that, I loved it. Truly, madly, deeply. The cat, however, did not. He decided to be crabby and angry all weekend and lash out at whoever was closest. I suppose one of us has to be bitter about Valentine's Day.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY MAKE YOU WANT TO BOOT.

I got the most thoughtful, sweetest presents ever. First, I got a gift certificate for a back massage to use when my thesis starts to make me mental (which is pretty much all the time). The second present was a thirty-pack of Lemon Fanta--the greatest soda of all time--which you cannot get in the United States for some inane reason. Now I don't have to fly to Europe to have a satisfying soda experience. Finally, and most importantly, Jesse printed out every email we have ever sent each other, inserted photographs of events related to the emails, bound them together, and put them in a nice box with a label created from photographs. It is phenomenal. Absolutely the best present I have ever received.

Even more sickeningly, we both wrote poems for each other (unbeknownst to the other person). A few weeks ago, we had a discussion about how people wrote us poems when we were younger, and Jesse said he thought we had outgrown that, while I said I thought it was romantic. So I--being contrary--wrote him a poem, and he--being thoughtful--wrote me one. Yes, we are the most revolting couple ever. I have turned into my worst nightmare. I'm sure it will come back to bite me in the ass.

This is the worst beverage ever--the basil seed drink. It looks like amoebas in an ice tea and tastes like mini eyeballs. It's no Lemon Fanta.

bipolar meter: 8.345

Happy Belated 29th Birthday to my beloved boy Jesse! We celebrated yesterday by going up to the Empire State building, eating dinner at Union Pacific (very yummy), and then to drinks at Lolita. I hadn't been up to the Empire State observatory in years and the view at night is incredible (if chilly).

It will be a very sad Valentine's Day for Barbie and Ken.

bipolar meter: 7

I am officially a loser. Everyone in Boston is on the streets celebrating the Pats' win and I am inside drinking tea, listening to Fiddler on the Roof (my latest present), and working on my thesis (well, until I started doing this). I can hear them all screaming. I am either getting really old, really lazy, or really smart.

bipolar meter: 8.02

I'm going to Mexico! I'm going to Mexico! I'm going to Mexico! Sun sun sun sun warmth warmth warmth warmth beach beach beach beach water water water water flipflops flipflops flipflops flipflops sun sun sun sun.

Yes, I have been a slacker. I was going to write about last weekend and then I realized it was Friday. But I did see the Old 97s. They were good, but it was a little weird to see Rhett up there and know he is married now with a kid. This week has been all about working at home. This morning I overslept, meaning I got 11 hours of sleep last night. That just seems wrong. Maybe I have some disease that causes me to want to sleep all the time. Or maybe it is winter.

1. Don�t involve yourself in someone else�s interests (for example, if I ask the bus driver when we are leaving, don�t say �it only cost $10, you can�t expect much.�E Otherwise I will tell you in a polite way to mind your own fucking business you pathetic little man wearing a faux-military camo jacket and black beret.

2. Don�t tilt your seat back all the way. The bus is pretty cramped already and you are being a jackass, especially if the person behind you is attempting to use her laptop. If such person then switches seats after you tilt yours back (unfortunately now exposing her to a view of your disgusting white fish belly instead of the back of the chair), do not put the other seat back. Your feet do not need a reclined seat. I will ask you not so politely to put one of them up.

3. Don�t eat anything noxious.

4. Don�t come up and ask the driver questions. He is supposed to be concentrating on driving. The bathroom is exactly where it is on every other bus in the world.

5. Don�t play music, movies, or anything else without headphones.

6. Don�t ask to sit with me when there are plenty of empty rows left. You have to sit further back, too bad. Get here earlier. But don�t make me sit with all of my bags just because you are a pussy who needs to be up near the bus driver or else you will get sicky.

7. If the bus makes a pit stop, get back on as soon as possible. Most people want to get to where they are going, not spend quality time in the Roy Rogers while you make phone calls and eat a nasty chicken sandwich.

8. Do not spend the entire trip yelling on your cell phone. If you want to make a few phone calls, be discreet and take softly or at least keep the conversations short. Do not sit in the back of the bus saying hello? Hello? HellO? HELLO? in increasingly louder tones while you are driving through Sturbridge. Your phone has ways of indicating when you don�t have service. Use them.

9. Don�t stand in the aisle arranging your winter clothing once the bus has stopped. That�s what your seat is for. Move your ass and get off.

bipolar meter: 8

I made it to the beach this weekend. Granted, the beach had snow on it, but it was still the beach. It was quite lovely. We cooked lots of good food, slept in, watched movies--Swimming Pool (slow, obtuse, but with a hot naked French chick) and Bend it Like Beckham (too reminiscent of other movies)--and drank pomegranate margaritas. I am still dreaming of warm, tropical beaches, but my mini-vacation did much to boost my weary, winter spirits.

bipolar meter: 7.75

In other news, I am spending most of my time at home working on my thesis with only the cat to converse with. You may have noticed. I'm slowly, slowly losing my mind. And dreaming of southern climes.

bipolar meter: 9.2

Today I got flowers delivered to me, and days when you get flowers are always wonderful, especially when they are unexpected.

Sooo, I am spending some time thinking about the future of the pita. Hopefully I can find a new direction and new inspiration. I'm pretty damn sure nobody wants to read about my sickening happiness all the time, so I will try to spare you that.

bipolar meter: 9.345